Being Still

“Be Still”. Take a minute and unpack what that really means. To me, it means being patient. Something I struggle with every day.

be still

I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years now with the most amazing man whom I do not deserve. He is caring, patient, loving, generous, calm, strong, almost everything I’m not. He keeps me sane. He keeps my head on my shoulders. We’ll call him C.

C & I moved to Columbia in August 2016 and are moving in together in July! So needless to say, we’re pretty serious. We’ve talked about marriage a lot and we both know that we want to spend forever with each other. But no ring.

If you’re a college-aged girl I know that your social media is filled with engagements, weddings, babies, new houses, all of that exciting stuff. And it is exciting and I am genuinely happy for all my friends and their futures. But I wish it was me. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not on their timelines. I am not them, I am me. I keep trying to convince myself that I am ok with where I am, but am I really?

I am trying to be still while waiting for the right apartment for us to move into, while finishing my degree, while wanting C to propose, while looking for a new job. I am learning to be still. I know that The Lord wants me to be patient and that he has a plan and that if it is in His will for me & C to get engaged or married that it will happen because He is faithful. So in the meantime, I am trying to love where I am and who I am and enjoy the now. I am trying to be present. I am trying to be patient. I am trying to be still.